ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A big South Australian has thanked his lucky O-Bahns this evening after coming from from a long shift at Drakes to a special treat for tea.

Rupert Afflerbach, a produce manager at a Victor Harbour supermarket, ripped his tie off at the door and walked out of his Hush Puppies in the laundry because he’d caught a whiff of dinner and dinner smelled good.

“Hell yeah,” he said.

“Mum got potato flataroonies for tea. Flataroonies and Hard Quizz, heck yes.”

For generations, the nation has been divided in many arbitrary ways. Winter codes of football, literacy rates and how we say certain things. North of the Murray, potato flataroonies are called ‘potato scollops’ and in the developing world to the south, they’re called ‘cakes’.

However, Mr Afflerbach told The Advocate that in more cosmopolitan parts of the country, such as Victor Harbour, they’re called flataroonies.

“I’m not sure what they’re called in Queensland. Probably something stupid like ’rounders’ or ‘frisbees’ [laughs] The cake vs scollop debate is also pretty stupid. A scollop comes from the sea. Or out of you if you’re a larger man who crashes his motorbike and the speedo takes a core sample out of your flabby stomach. Like a flesh can. A cake is a delicious dessert, not something you’d pound in front of Hard Quizz,” he said.

“Over in WA, they probably haven’t been invented. I don’t spend much time thinking of them.”

More to come.

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