Dubbo Woman Who Hasn’t Been Home In A While Wondering Why In The Fuck They’re Building A Giant Block Of Flats There

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A Dubbo woman has been met with an unfamiliar sight upon arriving back in the gateway to the New South Wales outback this week.

Someone is building a giant block of flats down off the main drag by the river where it floods all the time and that fact is a source of brain-bending mystery to Milly Booken-Mortimore, who is home from Sydney for two weeks on gardening leave after taking a job with her employer’s direct competitor.

Earlier today, Booken-Mortimore took herself for a walk down to the shops from her parent’s home on the city’s southern fringe when she saw the giant object appearing in the winter time apricity.

“What the fuck is that,” she asked herself.

She then began to laugh.

“Surely not.”

Someone is building a 13-story block of luxury apartments on the corner of Church Street and Bligh Street, for some reason. While some in the community are in the same camp as Booken-Mortimore, there are some that see this as a win over arch-rivals Orange as they don’t have anything remotely like this in the works.

Orange, another town in the Central West of NSW, is full of vest wearing cunts and tree changers who love buying nice historic homes there and renovating them in an extreme distasteful manner. It is similar to Dubbo but inferior in every way. It has no river, no plains, no zoo, no close airport, year-round frosts and no 13-story luxury apartment complex. The only redeemable feature of Orange is the Parkview Hotel, which is among the best pubs in NSW.

Booken-Mortimore told The Advocate today that she’s no closer to knowing why this is happening to Dubbo.

“I guess it’s kind of cool,” she told our reporter via wireless telelphone.

“Wagga as flats like this, I think. Toowoomba does. And Canberra. We’re in good company. Those toothless hicks in Orange don’t have one, though.”

More to come.