CSIRO Doubles Effort To Clone Shane Warne After China Successfully Clones Primates

BRUCE BACHETTO | Film | Contact

Scientists from Australia’s peak scientific body have announced they will attempt to clone Shane Warne before the end of this year.

The news comes following the successful cloning of primates by scientists in China to study the effects of disease on genetically identical mammals.

“This is the next logical step in the cloning timeline,” says professor Warwick Baxter from the CSIRO in Canberra.

“After they (Chinese scientists) managed to clone a couple of monkeys it made sense to use these techniques for something that can benefit the cricket, Australia in particular.”

Australia has been in the legspin wilderness since Shane Warne retired gracefully in 2006, leaving behind a void that’s yet to be filled.

While a number of decent tweakers have come through the system since then, the Australian public has never fully accepted them into their hearts.

CSIRO researchers have been trying to find ways of developing that talent for quite some time.

“We tried injecting Nathan Hauritz with some of Warnie’s DNA,” said professor Baxter.

“It only made him take up smoking for 12 days but unfortunately did nothing for his doosra. Offspin doesn’t really count, though. Every red-blooded male in this country has an offie they crank out on Christmas Day,”

“We also injected some of Shane’s blood into Steve Smith a few years ago, which only resulted in him scoring bulk runs. It’s left a lot of people confused and on-edge.”

Professor Baxter has earmarked 2018 as the year they successfully clone the leg-spin legend, however, they have been quite secretive about the techniques involved in this groundbreaking attempt.

It is believed Stuart MacGill volunteered his DNA for research, but he never heard back from the CSIRO.