ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

China’s port in Darwin will be off-limits to our new nuclear submarines.

The announcement was made today via state media in Beijing with the government suggesting that the ban is over environmental concerns similar to those harboured by the New Zealand Government.

The move has blindsided Acting Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce, who told The Advocate today that he was very disappointed by the decision.

“Apparently, the Chinese Government tried to call us last night but nobody was at the office,” said Joyce.

“Then this morning, I get a text message from Xi Jinping and it says we can’t use China’s base, er, port in Darwin for our new submarines because they don’t want the environmental risks that come with nuclear subs,”

“What a load of shit, they let the bloody Americans use it all the time for their shit and nobody bats an eyelid,”

“And last time I bloody checked, Darwin was in Australia. It’s an Australian city. We might just have to build our own port in Darwin at this rate,”

“Anyway, it was bloody immature of these Chinese to just bloody spring that on us with no warning. Shithouse at diplomacy they are.”

The Advocate reached out to the Chinese Government for comment but have yet to receive a reply.

More to come.


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