Adelaide Bookworm's Week Goes From Bad To Worse With Her DKNY Red Frames Snapping Up The Shops

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

With all the online and offline discussion surrounding the Adelaide Festival taking pole position in the hearts and minds of many around the country, some of the more forgotten victims of the pig-headed decisions of the Writers' Week executive have spoken of the last impact the fallout is having on them.

One in particular, a retired teacher from Seaford in Adelaide's coastal south, has confirmed bad things do indeed come in threes.

"First, of all my favourite writers pull out of their appearances at the Festival," said Shonya Young.

"Second, I pinch the front tyre of my Kia Sportage against the rim and make a big hole in the wall of it. New rim and new tyre. Again! Now, I tried to catch my DNKY red frames as they slipped off my face and I've snapped them,"

"This is just typical."

For the first time since the Fall of the Berlin Wall in 1989, Mrs Young swore in public.

In the deli meats section of the Seaford Drakes supermarket, in earshot of both the attendant and a young mother with children, Mrs Young growled and said, 'Fuckya fucken cunnavafuckenthing!' and slapped a 500g pouch of Smiling Fritz innocently sitting in her trolley.

Drakes was able to confirm Mrs Young did apologise for the outburst.

As for what she plans to do next month instead of seeing her favourite writers wax lyrical about the O-Bahn and how many times Travis Head has flagrantly violated the no alcohol policy on it, Mrs Young said she will probably be waiting in the carpark of the Old Bush Inn in Willunga while her husband drinks Pale schooner after Pale schooner after getting 14 stableford points at the nearby golf club.

"I'll probably have to have a few empty Gatorade bottles, too. He doesn't like to sit around with a full bladder, so he likes to piss in bottles on the way home and throw them at road signs or guideposts, as is the custom around here."

More to come.