Absolute Pest Buys A Harmonica

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT

In bad news for everyone with ears, local pest Chris Tripp has taken his dickory to new levels today by purchasing a new harmonica.

At 12:35pm yesterday, Tripp visited French Quarter music store Treble Beth and purchased a harmonica tuned to C major, the most annoying of all the scales.

After supporting his local music store like a good and honest citizen, Tripp then undid his good deed by loudly blowing on the harmonica the whole way home as if he were trying to alert wildlife to his presence.

“It was like someone was kicking an accordion down the street,” stated witness Corey Drummond (31).

“And then he brought it to the pub…”

Witness reports state that Tripp spent hours in the beer garden of the Betoota Railway Hotel trying to start an impromptu performance of ‘Boys Light Up’ despite not knowing how to play the song or the instrument.

Tripp admits he is aware that his harmonica playing may be annoying but assures reluctant listeners he is doing it for a good reason.

“It’s helping me quit smoking!” stated Tripp, with a dart in one hand and his harmonica in the other.

“Anybody have a lap steel? Let’s jam!”