32-Year-Old Convinces Self He's In Early Stages Of Organ Failure After First Core Session Since Colts Footy

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A Betoota Heights bloke that has launched a bit too hard into his new year health kick has convinced himself that all of this exercise might be causing his sturdy internal organs to begin faltering under the strain of the intense training.

Local software salesman, Del Deskman (32) is under the impression that he usually looks after himself.

He never thought there was too much wrong with consuming 45 grams of carbohydrates every meal of the day, and he's certain he gets enough steps in on his daily commute.

But with his mum and girlfriend back-channeling to each other for nearly a year about their deep concerns regarding his waistline, Del endured some rather blatant body-shaming over the summer break.

That means he's back in the body shop. Breaking a sweet. Shifting tin. Absolutely flogging himself. And not stretching afterwards.

But after nearly three weeks intense weights and cardio without a day off, Del noticed a recurring pang in his abdomen.

He's not 100% certain but it's where he imagines his kidney or liver to be.

Del knows that he probably could've done more to keep these precious organs in better nick, but he figures that nearly a month of relentless training has probably put more strain on them than the last 12 years of consuming over 12 standard drinks a week.

For nearly two days now he has quietly sat on this existential self-diagnosis, before eventually the fear became too much and he confided in his girlfriend last night.

His concerns were then met with eyerolls, after his girlfriend, who actually maintains a consistent excersise regime, pointed out that it might have something to do with him launching back into side planks for the first time since he was playing colts football nearly 20 years ago.

"Nah" he says.

"This feels pretty bad hey"