30 Something Bloke Realises He’s Started Doing The Old Man Groan When He Gets Off The Couch

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact

A Betoota Heights office worker has this week realised that he’s already started making old man noises, despite only being thirty one years old, it’s reported.

Despite being a reasonably fit and still in that age bracket where everything is working and he hasn’t fucked an ACL (yet), Jamie Ellis has found himself suddenly making grunting noises while undertaking tasks that really aren’t that taxing on the body – such as getting off the armchair, bending down to pick something up, and even getting into bed.

“It just…happened all of a sudden”, says Jamie, with a shudder, “one day I just woke up and started sounding like an old man.”

“I’m not even feeling any pain or anything like that. It’s just this automatic noise that comes out when I exert the slightest effort. Or even when I’m relaxing.”

“Fuck what’s next, the dad sneeze?”

More to come.