27-year-old loudly exclaims he’s getting too old after struggling to get off couch

14 April, 2017. 17:34

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Though he’s beginning to enjoy listening to a Pink Floyd album from start to finish, a spritely West Betootan has shrugged off claims that he’s getting old, saying it’s is own call when it happens.

However, that day is today.

After a full morning of being hungover and seriously identifying with the majority of Bob Dylan’s mid-70s-going-through-a-messy-divorce lyrics, it suddenly dawned on Kevin Greenholm that he was getting on.

“Yeah, it actually hurt to get off the couch this morning,” he said.

“Maybe because I was sleeping on honestly the cheapest young professional Ikea pull out you could ever envisage, or maybe because I’m 27,”

“Anyway, aside from getting into some serious pre-fame Pink Floyd and the mid-to-late Dylan, I would say that the pain comes from the joints – but seeing there’s a perfect emotional and physical storm here, I guess it’s the music and not my current state of fitness.”

More to come.