Islamic State demands to be included in 2015 Cricket World Cup

ISIL Fighters take to the streets of Northern Iraq
ISIL Fighters take to the streets of Northern Iraq

Spokespeople for the Islamic State have stated that the Caliphate demands to be recognized as a cricketing nation and furthermore have called upon the International Cricket Council to award them O.D.I status in the lead up to the 2015 Cricket World Cup.

The ICC World Cup is hosted ever four years, in 2011 it was hosted throughout the Indian subcontinent and next years event is set to take place in both Australia and New Zealand.

Despite the fact that the table of countries for the upcoming competition has concreted for many months now, ISIL still ask that they be included as a late entrant into the round-robin. One of the first steps they have made towards being internationally recognized as a legitimate state.

The Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant also translated as the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria, also known by the Arabic acronym Daʿish[a] and self-described as the Islamic State (IS), is a Sunni, extremist, jihadist, self-proclaimed caliphate state in Iraq and Syria in the Middle East.

“Cricket remains the only element of the western world of which we are willing to entertain,” say Islamic State spokesman, Abu Maluth.

“Unfortunately we were not organized in 2011, we could not field a team. However, as one of the most powerful governments in the Middle East at this time, we are offended that we have not been invited to Australia and New Zealand for next years I.C.C Cricket World Cup,”

Syria and Northern Iraq are a stronghold for the ICC.
Syria and Northern Iraq are a stronghold for the ICC.

International Cricket Council CEO David Richardson has stated that he understands it would be unfair to allow ISIL into the competition at such late notice, but also states that their inclusion would prove crucial for the future of Cricket in the Middle East.

“We have always been an organization that steers away from prejudice and discrimination, for us to turn our backs on the interest shown by ISIL purely because of their religious ideals would be quite hypocritical,”

“We understand that it may be unfair to allow them into the competition so late in proceedings, however we need to think about the future of our game. We realize that the cricket community of Northern Iraq and Syria are far more important to our game than Bangladesh or even New Zealand,”

When asked if he was concerned about the war crimes being committed by the ISIL fighters, the CEO stated it was no concern for him.

“I am from a country that has been boycotted in the past, it is a horrible thing to be boycotted” says Richardson, who’s personal experiences as an international cricketer was marred by the sporting world’s blacklist on his home country South Africa, due to his governments refusal to end the Apartheid regime.

“All we look for is motivation in these teams and respectable behavior on the pitch. Of course they need to be funded as well… ISIL seem to have that covered.”

As for their behavior on the pitch, Abu Maluth says the Islamic State are making no promises.

“Put it this way, if we are allowed to join the other countries in Australia and New Zealand next year. We will work hard to put our political ideals aside for a couple of months,”

“But we will still be attempting to behead Australian and English opponents with our infamous bouncers.

“These people think they have seen bodyline before… I don’t think so. Prepare for some chin music.”

 

6 Responses to "Islamic State demands to be included in 2015 Cricket World Cup"

  1. Pete   November 18, 2014 at 7:45 am

    Gotta love ISIL, what ever they do, they’ll always be ahead of the game.

    Reply
  2. Daryl Stewart   November 18, 2014 at 4:24 pm

    I don’t think they should let them play. They don’t play fair and might corrupt other cricketers who are quite young and vulnerable.

    Reply
  3. Abdul   November 18, 2014 at 4:59 pm

    Rumour is that ISIL is the next target for an AFL expansion team, the ISIL ‘Cutters’ short for head cutters.

    Reply
  4. Bevan Bugbear   November 18, 2014 at 9:04 pm

    As one hapless ISIL cricketing writer/blogger was heard to comment recently: “Man! Who you gotta kill to get your comment posted around here?!”

    Reply
  5. Helene   July 22, 2016 at 3:21 am

    That’s a smart answer to a tricky quioetsn

    Reply

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