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Despite a disastrous track record of destroying the environment, declaring unnecessary wars and warehousing poor people inside prisons – the world is still being run by people born during the post-World War II baby boom (1946-1964) – it has been confirmed.
This particular generation, also known as ‘The Baby Boomers’ have been heavily criticised over the last thirty years for their inability to look past their own retirement, which many of them believe should have been the day they turned 55.
Dr. Braiden Youngen, a anthropologist and historian from the CSIRO, says the reason baby boomers are still in charge of the world is because they have instilled a false sense of importance into themselves.
“Many of them believe that they worked very hard for everything good in this world,” says Dr Youngen
“They are forgetting that the generation above them lived through a great depression and fought in two world wars,”
“They also forget that they are solely responsible for the global financial crisis in 2008, and the fact that it was through the help of Generation X and Y that both capitalism and civil order was able to remain relatively intact,”
“The most influential person on Earth, Mark Zuckerberg, is an entire generation younger than them… and most of them don’t know who he is or what he does,”
President Barack Obama only narrowly lands in the Baby Boomer category by two years. It is for the fact that he mostly identifies with Generation X that many believe his presidency has seen the two most progressive terms in the history of American politics.
However, the entire nation looks to be doomed under the now very real celebrity billionaire Donald Trump as President, who very much qualifies as a baby boomer.
Dr Youngen expands on this imminent threat to the way of life for most people around the world.
“Donald Trump epitomises the whole ‘it’s not my fault, its their fault’ Baby Boomer sentiment. He has no respect for the environment or people who aren’t doing as well as him,”
“If he gets elected. We will be sending young men to pointless wars for the next two decades,”
However, the scourge of the Baby Boomer is not limited to the United States.
In England, everyday citizens are still expected to pay millions of tax dollars towards keeping a tabloid Royal family fed and dressed in silk. This is a result of romantic notions held by Baby Boomers throughout the Commonwealth, who refuse to acknowledge the discriminative class-system that exists beneath them. Not to mention the fact that their entire nation’s youth has just been outvoted to ‘LEAVE’ the EU by an enormous and entitled ageing population.
In Australia, more and more international cities have been forced to close all live music venues at midnight, due to the fact that majority of their state governments and state police forces are run by Baby Boomers who have grown sick of the inner-city noise levels disrupting them while they are trying to watch re-runs of small town BBC murder mysteries.
Dr Youngen says it is very frightening to know that the anti-intellectualist Baby Boomer may have another ten or so years left before they are no longer in charge of the world.
“These people are jaded that most of them missed Woodstock, and upset that they were too busy reading print newspapers to get their heads around whole internet thing,”
“In fact all these people had to do in their life was not get AIDS. They certainly did a horrible job of handling things when it became an issue,”
“They were all able to buy homes for decent prices. In 1975 a 21-year-old would have be able to buy a property in Manhattan, London or Sydney while working at a convenience store,”
“They ended up buying a few each, and now they have created a housing bubble, where these same properties are priced so that the only people can afford them – are Baby Boomers. They don’t seem to understand this, so don’t be surprised when they say the younger generations aren’t working hard enough”
With Climate Change a very real issue for Generation Y and Generation X, The Baby Boomers are now focusing their attention on culling sharks and blaming Muslims for the issues they have created. Welcome to the balance.