In good news for the United States Of America, the White House is today reporting that President Donald Trump has finally decided to take his country’s COVID-19 outbreak seriously.

As Australians adapt to the new normal that could our state-enforced social distancing measures in place until June – many of the Americans are still treating the coronavirus like a partisan political issue.

This comes after months of trying to shift blame onto the Democrats and China whenever he was asked why the US was so late in understanding the enormity of the coronavirus pandemic.

The President has also played down the seriousness of the pandemic, as the land of the free quickly begins to question whether an obnoxious billionaire who was elected on promises of ‘draining the political swamp’ is going to be the right person to carry their divided nation through a crisis response that relies heavily on the hard work and unity of all levels of government.

At the coronavirus briefing on February 26, for example, Trump said all of the following: “This is a flu. This is like a flu”; “Now, you treat this like a flu”; “It’s a little like the regular flu that we have flu shots for. And we’ll essentially have a flu shot for this in a fairly quick manner.”

President Trump has reportedly changed his tune dramatically in the weeks since he wrote this pandemic off as a bad flu that was being weaponised by his political rivals.

As the United States now confirms more positive cases of COVID-19 than Italy and China combined – it is believed that Trump is now working 3-quarters round the clock to solve this issue before America’s economy crashes completely.

White House officials can today confirm that President Trump is working so hard in the fight against COVID-19, he’s barely averaging 6 hours sleep each night. As opposed to his usual 10 hours of REM.

“This is unprecedented” said one White House official.

“I know that word is getting used a lot in these uncertain times. But to see our President not getting to bed until midnight, and then having to wake up at 6AM to do it all over again… There’s only one word for that”


“He himself says he can’t remember a time when he was functioning off such little sleep.”

“Even when he would visit the Virgin Islands with Jeffrey he would still be able to get his ten hours”

On Tuesday, the President warned of a “painful” and “tough” two-week stretch ahead as he extended nationwide distancing measures that — even if followed closely — could still mean more than 100,000 and up to 240,000 Americans die from coronavirus –

He has also stopped referring to COVID-19 as the China Virus, after realising how efficient China has been at resolving an issue that he was openly referring to as a ‘hoax’ four weeks ago.


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