FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact

In an unprecedented admission, Future Former President Trump has finally conceded that the 1983 America’s Cup was won by the creatively-named Australian yacht Australia II

Australia II is a 12m racing yacht that was launched in 1982 and is not to be confused with the original Australia which is a much larger vessel with a crew of 25 million people. 

In 1983 the yacht beat the equally unimaginatively-named American favourite Liberty to take home first place and the Cup, which is rarely used as it is too large to fit in a standard dishwasher. 

In a statement, the President acknowledged the loss, describing the race as “just some silly boat thing from a long time ago” although US sentiment at the time could be summed up as denial and shock to have lost a prize they had held for 132 consecutive years.

“This race was not a big deal. Not a big deal” explained Trump.

“We said hey, let them have it if it makes them happy. Go on, take it. We’ll get it back next year. It was a plan; it was my plan. A great plan, that’s what it was. A really good plan. The best.”

“I said to them; I said “go on, if you want to win, you can have the trophy. Take it. You’re welcome. But not the election. I won that fair and square.” 


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