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The stranded NASA astronauts have splashed down on Earth on moments, ending what began with a Boeing test flight gone wrong more than nine months ago.
Butch Wilmore and Suni Williams left the International Space Station (ISS) yesterday and splashed down off the coast of Florida this morning local time. Their trip back to Planet Earth was courtesy of SpaceX.
However, after seeing the state of things here on Earth, both Wilmore and Williams have farewelled their families again and are heading back to the ISS where things are a bit less crook.
NASA mission director Chad Cuckmore III told The Advocate that while unusual, America’s space agency is ready for any challenge.
“Yeah dude, they took one look at this place and said, ‘Nah, Dawgy, let’s bounce, yo!’ and like said bye to their kids and shit and like got back on the bus and went around to the launch pad and we were like, ‘Fuck dude, no way! That’s totally fucking wild, man!’ and ‘Bro, that fucks!’ and like we all went with it,” he told our reporter.
“So yeah, dude, they blasted off like 20 minutes ago! I’m going, to go into the bathrooms now and jack my hog. I fucken love to jack on company time, dude, do you guys get to do that Down Under? Bro! Bucket list is to jack my hog in Australia, dude. Nah, dawg, true word no way dude.”
As we go to print this morning back home in the Diamantina, it’s unclear exactly what made the astronauts leave exactly but those close to them have said it’s a mix of economic uncertainly, rampant inflation, the slow death of the natural order of nature, the Pope giving up double pneumonia for Lent, the Australian general election and the stupid orange man in the White House.
More to come.
