With the Melbourne Cup done and dusted for 2021, all eyes have turned back to Prime Minister Scott Morrison, who has somehow managed make himself the laughing stock of this world leaders summit in Glasgow.

Aside from the fact that Scotty allowed the the major fossil fuel corporation Santos to sponsor Australia’s exhibition in COP26, or the fact that not one world leader wants to be photographed with him – the Prime Minister has also made international headlines for this clusterfuck of a submarine pact that he has formed with the US and UK.

The French President Emmanuel Macron kicked things off on Monday by telling journalists that Scotty from Marketing is a liar, and had not been honest in his communications with the European nation.

Macron reportedly took issue with the fact that Scotty cancelled Australia’s original $90b submarine pact with the French via email the night before he stood on stage next to two livestreams of Johnson and Biden – in an effort to convince Australians that we are at war with the Chinese and the only way we will survive it is if we re-elect him.

Australia, the UK and US have formed a new security partnership named AUKUS – a new acronym that President Joe Biden doesn’t seem to know too much about considering the fact that he couldn’t even remember the Australian Prime Minister’s name in a brief press conference back in September.

As a first initiative, AUKUS will build nuclear submarines for Australia’s fleet. There will be eight of them. They will not have nuclear weapons, they will just be nuclear-powered, which in itself is a pretty scary responsibility for a government that can’t manage to run a services website that doesn’t crash under the mildest web traffic.

Scotty has responded to Macron calling him a liar by saying that ‘Macron is sledging Australians’ and leaking text messages between the two of them to his allies in the conservative Australia media.

However, while the Australian Prime Minister does not see a problem in treating one of Europes biggest economies with such contempt – US President Biden has been quick to backpedal from the deal and rushed to salvage his relationship with the French.

Sadly this diplomatic binfire that has seen Scotty From Marketing destroy diplomatic relations with both the US and Europe, all in the name of a photoshoot next to the UK and US flags, does not come as a surprise to Australians – who are now very well aware that our own Prime Minister is capable of fucking up a cup of coffee.


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