One significant roadblock to independence for Harry and Meghan has been removed today it can be confirmed.

The Betoota Advocate can exclusively reveal, that $1.9 million issue of the Sussex’s security detail has been solved by the purchase of a Pitbull named Tyson.

The issue of protecting Harry, Meghan and Archie had been a sticking point for the breakup, with reports initially emerging that Candian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau had offered to pick up half (or potentially even all) of the security bill if the young family moved to Canada.

That had caused consternation in the land of the Maple leaf, and the Royal family back home in Britain were also concerned about having to pick up the bill given the couple were stepping down from their official duties.

However, the whole issue has now been resolved after Harry met with a bloke who lives on the outskirts of town to pick up a dog registered as an American Staffordshire Terrier.

“Oh yeah, it’s mostly Pitbull, and got a bit of other fuck you up kinda breed in there too I think,” laughed Harry today.

“Gotta make sure the paperwork’s legit obviously, but yeah between Tyson, my old cricket bat, a security and dashcam camera we should be pretty sweet aye.”

“Anyway, I’m more concerned about toxic people trying to bring us down than anyone else really.”

Harry then assured us that Tyson has already taken to little Archie.

“They are best mates aye, it’s so cute. I’m not worried about it at all.”


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