As the situation escalates on the Ukrainian border, all hope for a ceasefire pact seems to be fading by the minute.

Russian President Vladimir Putin’s decision to recognise the independence of two separatist regions of Luhansk and Donetsk in eastern Ukraine has drawn condemnation from all over the world, with the NATO chief calling it a violation of international agreements.

While Putin’s highly manipulative statecraft keeps both the people of Ukraine and global military strategists confused, the presence of nearly a quarter of a million Russian troops on the border is maintaining a culture of fear right across Eastern Europe.

However, while the Ukrainians may feel like sitting ducks for their powerful and long-despised neighbours, it seems the people are at least finding solace in the fact that some of the world’s greatest minds are in their corner.

Namely, Britain’s Prime Minister, the US President, and Scotty From Marketing.

Boris Johnson, the man who openly bragged about shaking hands with COVID-19 patients in 2020, just four days before finding himself strapped to a ventilator in St Thomas Hospital’s ICU ward, had this to say

“It’s a flagrant violation of the sovereignty and integrity of the Ukraine… The UK will continue to do everything we can to stand by the people of Ukraine with a very robust package of sanctions.”

US President Joe Biden, an ageing geriatric who mistook his 79th birthday for his 58th birthday, echoed these sentiments by declaring “the United States would respond swiftly and decisively, in lock-step with its Allies and partners, to further Russian aggression against Ukraine”.

Scotty From Marketing – the Australian Prime Minister who stared directly into a welding flash without a mask over the weekend – and man that no one in the Ukraine or Russia has ever heard of, has said “Russia should step back” – powerful words that President Putin is sure to take on board.

With these kinds of friends on their side, the people of Ukraine have been able to relax knowing that they are in safe hands should Putin decide he wants to let the Kalashnikovs sing.

“Such a relief” said Dmytro, chair of Betoota’s Friends Of Ukraine chapter.

“We saw the way these men handled the pandemic. We have no doubt they will be able to help us defeat the 4th biggest army in the world, who are already sitting on our border with rockets and drones pointed at every government building and military base in our country”


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here