While, he isn’t exactly looking forward to World War 3, Michael Davison says he’s ready if need be.

The full-time IT Manager for Betoota Municipal Council issued a profound statement as the world nervously watches the situation in the Middle East.

Reports emerged this morning of a couple of rocket strikes in the Green Zone of Iraq’s capital Baghdad, followed by a few days of rapid escalation between Iran and the United States Of America.

“Obviously I’d rather not go over to the Middle East and risk my life for the ego-driven old codgers in charge of the planet,” he said.

“But, if it does happen, then I’m pretty confident in my elite pwning skills that I’ve been honing for years,” he chortled taking a sip of his 2nd Monster energy drink for the day.

“I had a fucked up good K/D ratio on MW2, and I owned Rust lol.”

“So I’m pretty confident I’ll be able to translate my 360 no scope on the PlayStation to a SR98 7.62mm bolt-action sniper rifle in real life.”

“I mean I haven’t played the game for a while, but you don’t lose it.”

Davison said he is a little concerned about leaving the confines of his mum’s house if push comes to shove, but will make do as long as he has a constant supply of Cheetos or Doritos.

“I hope you don’t have to wait for ages to come back into the game after respawning,” he laughed.

“Anyway, Barry’s pulled his computer out of the wall cause he couldn’t figure out to close a pop up he encountered while trying to re-kindle his love life online again, so I’ve gotta go push a button,” he said walking off into the Council Chambers.


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