SOUL MAKING, SOUND SHAKING, EARTH QUAKING: One of the most successful franchises in gaming history has this week suffered a catastrophic blow to the roll-out of their next instalment.

This comes as an anonymous hacker releases test gameplay footage of the upcoming video game Grand Theft Auto VI, in what has been described as one of the biggest leaks in video game history.

It is not known to this newspaper why a leak of this nature is bad news for a company that has had fans on the edge of their seat for the newest instalment, after bringing in more than $11.4 billion in net revenue since their release in 2013.

However, several nerds that were employed to help fix the Wi-Fi in our newsroom kindly explained that the leak could lead to a delay in the launch if the source code is published, whatever the fuck that means.

Labelled “early development footage” by developer Rockstar Games, the footage consists of more than 90 separate video clips showing animation tests, level layouts and full-blown gameplay demonstrations – confirming the long-running rumour that this version of GTA will include the first female protagonist in the history of the franchise.

However, the most notable information shared through this hacking episode is the fact that several of the leaked video clips suggest that the creators at Rockstar Games may be bringing back the iconic Michelli Roadster – a fictional two-door sports car made famous by the 1999 instalment of the game known as ‘GTA2’.

These revelations has been met with great excitement from the hundreds of millions of geebens around the world who can remember this super fast sports car from the very earliest iterations of this video game franchise.

Complete with an in-built FM stereo playing the likes of KREZ, RockStar Radio, Head Radio and Christian pop – the heavily pixelated car has not changed at all since the it first hit the streets of Anywhere City in the late 1990s.

Unconfirmed reports also indicate that the developers are also bringing back the wildly distasteful in-game challenges known as KILL FRENZIES – where players are required to indiscriminately kill as many civilians as possible with machine guns and flame throwers for extra points (?)


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