CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
The bosses at tech giant Google have been forced to sit all their nerds down today for a stern chat.
This comes after thousands of Google staff across the world staged a series of walkouts in protest at claims of sexual harassment, gender inequality and systemic racism.
The protests and walkouts follow allegations of sexual misconduct made against senior execs, which the protesters say are just high profile example of thousands of similar cases across the company.
In an effort to stem the bleeding, the bosses at Google’s offices around the world have had to bring all their problematic male nerds into the same room to tell them that this shit isn’t on.
Sources inside Sydney’s Google Office said the talking to was a big reality check.
“I know all you fucking losers think you’ve made it now. Riding the tech wave all the way to the house and cashing in on the boom, but I think you’ve let this whole thing get to your head,” one boss reportedly told staff at the Google’s Sydney offices.
“You’ve made a lot of money real quick, but you can’t go around abusing people because of their race, gender or social standing,” the boss then said, in a similar tone to many other sit-downs around the world.
“You fucking dweebs behave yourself alright, you are carrying on like the jocks you’ve spent your lives despising.”
“If you keep carrying on like this there’s gonna be no more fucking Moutain Dew or Doritos okay.”
“I’m serious,” the boss finished the talk with as all the nerds began choking on their own saliva and frantically stroking their neckbeards.