One of the prototypical characteristics of the fuckboy is to lie, cheat and steal your way into the physical and emotional breast of your consort.

And it turns out you can indeed teach an old dog new tricks, as Roo ‘Fuckboy’ Murdoch pulled off one of the all-time fuckboy moves with a subtle ‘Hmm totally’ between bites of his salt and pepper squid appetiser in response to his hinge date’s mention of intersectional feminism. 

Natalie Rogers (27), the freshly single media magnate’s date for the night – and third for the week – took hold of the discussion after her second glass of Pet Nat. 

“There is still a Gender Pay Gap that exists in this country,” she said, before continuing. 

“I don’t know if you’ve read Annabelle Crabbe’s Quarterly Essay, but it really goes into how societal expectations around motherhood are to blame for that.”

“But, you know I say that as a privileged white woman. I have to constantly check my privilege. Feminism has to be intersectional, we have to consider race, gender and class and identify the unique obstacles that each presents.”

With his eyes glazed over, Roo’s response was swift: “Hmm totally.” 

This was followed by a short silence and then a change in the topic of conversation.

In a one minute and forty two second long voice memo sent to her friends, Rogers’ said: 

“So, it started of OK. I mean I definitely knew that he was lying about his age on his profile, there was no way he was 45. But that’s not a huge red flag for me. Anyway, he showed me photos of the euro trip he went on and was telling me about these places called Bouillons you can eat at that are where the locals eat. That kind of gave me the ick. That and the fact he ordered salt and pepper squid as both an appetiser and a main. Anyway, then he asked if I had anything on tomorrow morning and when I said that I had to be up early for work he signalled for the cheque.” 

“But I don’t know, he was nice enough for a second date. Assuming he doesn’t ghost me, lol.”

“Anyway, he paid, so whatever.”

At time of press, Rupert Murdoch had still not contact Natalie for round two, perhaps because they smash on the first date.

More to come. 


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