WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact

In some exciting news for residents of the United States of America, and the world at large, Donald Trump is back baby.

The egotistical billionaire who managed to divide the nation in a manner not seen for over a century, has revealed that he’s gonna have another crack at being a president.

After losing the last election in a landslide, claiming that the nation’s democracy was rigged and inciting deadly riots that undermined the nation’s fabric, Trump has decided to run for the 2024 presidential election.

While he arguably somehow managed to make America even less great than it was before, the former reality TV star has revealed that he’s going to ‘rescue the American dream.’

The bold play to fix America comes just two weeks after another egotistical billionaire who doesn’t pay his fair share of tax revealed he planned to fix another public utility.

Elon Musk made a splash with a hilarious joke thought of by his Executive Assistant, and pledged to clean up the cesspit that is Twitter.

However, similarly to Trump in his first run at the presidency, Twitter still seems to be as shit as it was before the billionaire in question took over.

Still filled with porn, racism and echo-chamber champagne socialists, Musk maintains that he’s fixing things by sacking all of Twitter’s staff and introducing new ways to generate revenue at the expense of public discourse.

However, thankfully both billionaires are absolutely certain that they are improving the world and fixing these giant messes, and not engaging in some egotistical pursuit aimed at satisfying their self-worth.

More to come.


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