Travellers were left feeling quite amused today, as a bloke was seen boarding an international flight wearing ball hugging jeans. Gary ‘Gazza’ Thompson was unaware of this faux pas when he’d settled in for the long haul, and thought the weird looks were less to do with his attire, and more to do with his terrible singlet tan. As he settled into his seat and watched in wonder as the plane began to take off, Gazza was blissfully unaware of the impending chafe he’d have to endure.

“I’m pretty chuffed hey”, says Gazza, as he takes a swig from his beer, “it’s my first trip overseas.”

The Emerald miner had reportedly never ventured further than Townsville when he decided it was ‘time to see some culture.’ Doing what only people with a fuckton of disposable income can do, Gazza had impulsively bought himself a ticket to Italy in the hopes of landing himself an Italian bird.

“I was going to buy a Monaro”

“But I’ve already got three of those so figured a nice trip might be better.”

Gazza managed to sit comfortably for a few hours while he caught up on the last season of Game of Thrones. But by the time he got to the finale, he was noticeably wincing at both the terrible epilogue, and the pinching sensation in his left ball sack.

“Just trying to get comfortable, the seats too bloody small that’s all it is.”

Like a dog with a cone around its head, Gazza spent a solid hour pawing at his nether regions. He reportedly had to stop when a fellow passenger shot him a dirty look.

“This is stupid, how the hell do people sleep on planes? Got us all packed in like sardines.”

“Shoulda got one of those neck pillow thingies.”

More to come.


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