Today marked the beginning of the Democratic convention, which will ultimately end with the commencement of the Biden/Harris Presidential campaign.

The socially-distant gathering of the political powerbrokers tasked with ousting President Trump from the White House will be held over the next three days, followed by the Republican National Convention next week.

Former first lady Michelle Obama condemned the US President Donald Trump in her closing speech on the first night of the Democratic National Convention, while the former candidate Bernie Sanders called for all voters to unify to beat the Republicans and begin their countries long journey toward healing from coronavirus.

However, one political message that has been prevalent throughout the first day of the convention, and is expected to be hammered home over the next week, is the Democratic establishment’s pleas for America’s White Boys to please put down their heavy-artillery firearms and do away with the Dark Web conspiracies that has pitted them against the rest of the nation.

Both Michelle Obama and Bernie Sanders has urged the powerful white boy demographic to please calm down and focus on channelling their energy towards their more wholesome American past times – such as baseball and dance-pop R&B.

“Please, white boys. Let us not descend into hate and conspiracy theories” said Bernie Sanders.

“Let us focus on working towards building an America that people of all races and creeds can both take part in and enjoy”

“Something as universally loved as track #2 on Justin Timberlake’s 2002 debut solo album, Justified”

Michelle Obama was quick to point out that while her favourite song on the album was definitely the break out single “Señorita” (track #1) – she too agrees that track #2 did more for the self-esteem of white boys and their relationship with modern America than any school shooting or Mexican border militia ever could.

Like I Love You was white boys at their best. Of course, with the added rap interlude of a then-little-known Pusha T… Now that was music

Rising Democratic congresswoman, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, has echoed the sentiments of her predeccessors.

“White boys should not have to feel so isolated in this country” she said.

“They should feel as one with the rest of the country as they did when we were all dancing to Justin Timberlake’s sporadic decision to beatbox for an entire verse in ‘Rock Your Body’…”

“…which in my opinion is the closest that any man, woman or child has ever gotten to emulating the genius of Michael Jackson”

Former US president Bill Clinton and Jill Biden (the former VPs wife) also made mention of the need for the nation’s white boys to return to making the post-NSYNC-era Timberlake music that help soothe Americans in the years following 9/11.

Jill Biden also made a specific point of highlighting Timberlake’s later work as some of the greatest electro-R&B she has heard in her lifetime.

“I want you white boys to bring sexy back this election”

“Because lord knows my husband will be”



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