ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Yeronga local Scott O’Donnell has made a decision even the Barefoot Investor could get around by choosing to relocate his most prized and comprehensively over-insured possessions to the ground floor of his Queenslander, just in case.
Speaking to The Advocate via wireless telephone from his elevated verandah, where he has spent the last hour checking his insurance policies. checking BOM radar updates every 45 seconds, and drinking at a cracking pace, O’Donnell said he had already begun moving key items downstairs for safekeeping.
“Shit I’m drunk,” he said.
“I’ve put my mint-condition 2006 State of Origin jersey, every laptop and iPad in the house, and my dad’s lifesized statue of Sir Joh on the toilet,” he confirmed.
“And I’ll be shifting the 75-inch LG telly down because the air-conditioning is better down there, wink wink. Life’s Good! Well, not for this television soon! I’m going to park my Prado down the street too in the hollow. It’s insured for 38 and has 500 on the clock. Cha ching!”
O’Donnell, 38, says he is well aware of Yeronga’s reputation for turning into an inland sea every time the Brisbane River so much as coughs, but he remains optimistic that this time will be different.
“Yeah, look, the SES has been around handing out sandbags and the Premier’s doing that thing where she reminds us to ‘stay safe,'” he said.
“Sandbags? Pffffft I’m no leftie. Do you think lefties engage in grey-area insurance fraud? They’re too pussy to claim the $300 laundry deduction on their tax return that everyone does.”
Despite the Bureau of Meteorology forecasting widespread flooding throughout the city, O’Donnell maintains he just has a feeling that the water won’t come too far up his street this time.
Nevertheless, O’Donnell is confident his insurance policy, which he admits he only skim-read before signing, will cover “acts of God” and any accidental submersions that may occur.
“I mean, you don’t take out full comprehensive for nothing, do ya? I can’t wait to join the Mud Army again and throw TV after TV into a skip bin.” he said.
At the time of publishing, O’Donnell was seen hauling his Yeti Esky full of full-power beers downstairs, confident that if the floodwaters did rise, at least his drinks would stay cold.
More to come.
