ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Toot your little horn all you want, he doesn’t give a fuck.

The world’s most important cunt has been located, at long last. He drives a Peugeot 508 and lives in Betoota Heights.

The spine of Hinze Link Road in the Flightpath District is lined on each backstrap by a solid white line. A line, in a perfect world, that would never suffer the indignity of being run over.

But the world is not perfect, it’s full of cunts like Steve Pearson.

The double lines mean nothing to him, he wants to turn where he wants to turn. He doesn’t give a fuck about you, he doesn’t care that you have somewhere to be. He need to turn across two lanes of heavy traffic, rather than obey the rules like everyone else who doesn’t drive one of those stupid fucking French deathtraps.

As the line of cars snaked behind him, the honking of horns intensified. The air was being polluted because someone needed to vent their frustrations.

Just when things were about to spill over, a truck driver passed Steve in his little French car and threw a Gatorade bottle off piss on him through the sunroof.

A gap appeared in the oncoming traffic and a piss-soaked Steve managed to make his illegal turn and everyone else went on their way.

It was over.

More to come.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here