A local Brisbane resident is once again praising the services of Facebook this morning, after providing him with breaking news from his hometown.

Sitting aboard a Caboolture line on his commute into the city, 26-year-old agricultural analyst Scott Tinto decided to take a break from reading through a bank of work emails, to have a scroll through Facebook.

Once a cherished platform used to wish his school mates a happy birthday or ignore unsolicited ‘Pokes’ from his Auntie Joan, Scott is one of the many Australians who doesn’t use the service as much as he used to.

However after several unenthusiastic thumb rolls and noticing a recurring image of a collection of dubiously branded hemp oils, Scott was thrilled to learn a new multi-layered pyramid scheme had obviously hit his old hometown.

Taking a second look at the people who had shared on the ‘Exclusive – Introductory Offer’, Scott connected some mental dots to diagnose the sudden outbreak of the scheme.

“Firstly I saw my Mum’s friend Julianne post it, she owns the herbal health shop in town which is usually ground zero for this kinda thing,” Scott told The Advocate.

“Then after I noticed two beauticians from school and my sister’s old netball coach are clearly onboard, so it’s obviously doing the rounds!”

Watching the morning skies of Brisbane flicker past the train window, Scott took a moment to briefly consider what drove people back home to the promise of yet another literal snake oil treatment, especially after Herbal Life had only recently burned through his town.

Broken out of his trance by two dings echoing from his phone, Scott was reportedly unenthused to learn the tentacles of the scheme were clearly strong enough to reach him, even in Brisbane.

“Ahhh here it is, a Facebook message from my Uncle’s new partner Sandra, she’s the CrossFit instructor in town,” Scott sighed.

“She’s just hit me with a link and a smiley face, how can I politely tell her to fuck off and not make it awkward for Christmas…”

More to come. 


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