ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The Prime Minister has received the double thumbs up from the young blokes of his Sydney electorate today after announcing a key economic stimulus package aimed at tradies and homeowners.

While the construction industry was already trucking along fine, Scott Morrison confirmed speculation that his government would be providing $25 000 grants to homeowners who want to renovate their homes.

They have to spend $150 000 to qualify for the grant but that’s understood to be chicken feed to many people who own their own homes.

However, the HomeBuilder scheme has been met with harsh criticism, especially from those in the arts sector, which has received little aid from the government since the coronavirus lockdown.

Speaking to the media today in Sydney, Scott Morrison defended the scheme.

“Who stimulates the economy better than a cashed-up tradie?” he asked reporters.

“Certainly not a theatre tech!”

“No, with this scheme, homeowners can draw down out of the equity in their own home to add value to it. Like, they could put in a second level or extend the deck out. Put a pool in. Maybe a granny flat. The possibilities are literally endless,”

“I’ve got a mate in Cronulla who’s putting a putting green in the front yard. See, things like that will get the economy going. Trust me, it’ll be fine.”

The Advocate spoke very briefly to a local tradie, who said that the Prime Minister is correct in his assumption that much of his income is disposable.

“After the mortgage and Hilux repayments, it’s pretty much fun tickets after that. I’ve got a boat and a sports car. Well, it’s a Ford Capri but it goes like a shower of shit when you really give her some. Life’s good, mate. I can’t complain,”

“Complaining is for city people. I just get on with it,”

“But ah, yeah. I welcome this scheme. It’s pissa [sic] I’ve already got work coming out my ears, I’ll have to hire a few more blokes at this rate. I’m no economist but that’s good for the economy in my book. I might even book myself a table at the pub this evening and enjoy myself a few solo phone beers. I can’t complain, mate. I just love Queensland.”

More to come.


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