ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The government is now handing out extra payments to people in society who are the most likely to spend it on things they don’t need.

Students under the age of 24.

Young people do stupid things all the time, it’s a part of being young. One stupid thing that the government hopes young people will do now is spend this extra money they’re getting via Centrelink Youth Allowance on things they don’t need.

Like new tyres for their car. Not to last them a couple years, but so they can go down to their local business park and smoke them up until they pop.

However, it would be foolish of this masthead to paint every student with the same brush so our reporters hit the streets to find out what our town’s full-time students, apprentices and other assorted youngsters were planning to do with their extra monies.

Marcus Donoghue (Full-time Journalism Student)

The 21-year-old says he’s given up on 2020. PHOTO: Supplied.

Full-time journalism student at South Betoota Polytechnic College, Marcus Donoghue says he plans to spend his extra Youth Allowance payments of cannabis.

He said that the pain of being a journalism student in the current media climate was bad enough. Now that he’ll struggle to even find employment full stop has just about tipped him over the end.

“I can pay my rent and survive on Youth Allowance already. Just. If I went to uni in a big city, I’d be fucked,” he said.

“But yeah. I’m going to buy some weed with this new payment. Hopefully, my dealer will also stimulate the local economy, too. And the growers, too. People give bikies a bad name but they spend big in the local community. My Mum works at CRT and she reckons bikies are always coming in paying cash for shovels, wheelbarrows, rope, hose and irrigation systems,”

“Back to uni, yeah. Tertiary journalism is a scam, anyway. Every journalism lecturer in the country knows they’re a con artist. To be a journalist, you need to learn on the job. There’s no point in sitting in a classroom watching some tired old has-been try to suck his own cock on the floor up the front. Fuck me, I already sound jaded with the industry. Maybe this is the perfect job for me?”

Megan Jung (Full-time Marketing Student)

The 19-year-old plans to spend her extra cash as small local businesses. PHOTO: Supplied

Another student at South Betoota Polytech says she’ll spend any extra money she has supporting small businesses in her local area that are doing it tough at the moment.

Megan Jung studies marketing full-time and lives in a small sharehouse with other girls her age who also enjoy being very neat and tidy.

“I’m one of the lucky ones,” she said.

“For the time being, I’ve still got my job at the gun shop on Sundays and most of my classes are online anyway,”

“So I’m going to spend my extra money at places like the bakery down the road that’s doing a takeaway type thing out the window. I usually make my coffee at home because I’m not a reckless psychopath, so I’m going out to get a takeaway coffee now. I’ve started going my groceries at the expensive grocer down the street. Buying things like cultured butter and other luxury things nobody ever asked for,”

“Also, I’m buying bullets for my Remington 7600 pump-action .308 now. I used to reload but I like supporting my local gun shop. I’ve been shooting a lot more recently for practice. Just in case society collapses.”

Peter Bean (Full-time diesel mechanic apprentice)

16-year-old apprentice Peter says life will go on the same. PHOTO: Supplied

Diesel mechanic apprentice Peter Bean says things will probably go on the same for him, considering he works in an industry that’s “pretty critical” to the economy.

The full-time Pacific National employee works to maintain rail freight locomotives and also dabbles in repairing rail cars.

“Mate, look, it’s not good for a lot of people. My heart really goes out to them all. The people having to line up at Centrelink and that. I’m fucken [sic] lucky I got this job at the Betoota Railyards. The economy needs people like me to keep working to keep the country moving,”

“I’ve got tonnes of mates who are getting on Centrelink for the first time in their lives. Sad thing but what can you do? It’ll get better.”

As for what he plans to spend the money on, Peter said he’d just spend every cent he got because that’s what the government told him to do.

“Yeah, you know. Things like shopping and that. I won’t be investing it, that’s for sure! Yeah mate, I’ll buy a bunch of Vanguard ETFs with this extra money! [laughs] Nah mate, just spending it at places where blokes need it. Shops around my house and that,”

“I’d buy a bunch of pot with it but they drug test us now, hey. Can’t win them all.”

If you’d like to get in touch with The Advocate about your experiences with Youth Allowance, please feel free to contact our reporter with your story.

More to come.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here