ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
The Premier of New South Wales has asked people from Victoria to stay the hell away from her but stopped short of agreeing to blow up every bridge over the Murray and block the land crossings in with tanks.
“We can’t just blow up every bridge over the Murray,” said Premier Gladys Berejikilian.
“But then again, rebuilding the bridges will create a lot of jobs.”
That’s lead a number of political analysts to conclude that Premier Berejiklian has obviously never played Red Dead Redemption II – because if she did, she would’ve known that blowing up bridges is surprisingly simple.
Former Nine political chief, Laurie Oakes, has turned to video games to keep his mind active in retirement and one of his favourites is the aforementioned cowboy epic.
The big Lithgownese mastermind said that blowing up every bridge over the Murray might actually be a great political strategy moving forward as Victoria takes another step backward.
“I think the people of New South Wales would respect Premier Gladys a lot more if she took the steps to protect her constituents by physically preventing the sick and diseased Victorian peasantry from entering the state,” said Mr Oakes.
“She’s obviously never played Red Dead. Blowing up bridges is quite easy. You simply need to shoot a bunch of people and place explosives on the bridge then blow it up. Perhaps some light machine-gunning of survivors in the water. Simple,”
“I’d do it myself but I’ve got bunyons.”
The Advocate reached out to the NSW Premier’s Office for comment but have yet to receive a reply.
