ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The large regional centre formally known as Wagga Wagga has graduated from it’s former definition to one of ‘regional city’ after confirming four new coronavirus cases.

COVID-19 has, for the most part, affected only large metropolitan areas such as Melbourne, Sydney and the other capital cities.

And since the land around Wagga Wagga was forcefully stolen from the original custodians some two hundred years ago, the city has pined to be counted among the big boys.

“These new cases all but confirm Wagga’s city status,” said Nationals leader Michael McCormack.

Mr McCormack is a Wagga local and has long campaigned for the town to be considered a regional city as opposed to a large regional centre.

“You just have to look at the many apartment blocks around town. Do regional towns have large blocks of flats that wouldn’t seem out of place up on the Gold Coast? No, towns do not have large apartment blocks,”

“We also have a private members club here, complete with snooker tables and a bar. Where do you find such things? In cities,”

“It’s actually quite tragic that it had to come to this, for our regional city to be infected with the deadly coronavirus, for it to be considered a city. The Wagganese people who’ve got the virus are martyrs to the cause. We will remember them.”

More to come.


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