The Victorian opposition has today revealed that they will begin preparing for the 2022 state election, once they’ve decided how they all feel about electrocuting gay people.

For die-hard Coalition voters in Victoria, it has been a difficult couple years watching their party do their best to ruin their election chances against Dan Andrews.

Even after his rent-a-guard quarantine disaster that led to the disastrous Melbourne second wave in 2020, Victorian Premier Dan Andrews was still polling miles ahead of the opposition while the state endured one of the strictest lockdowns on the planet.

In 2021, the same thing happened again, almost the moment that Dan Andrews returned to work from a leave of absence.

While Queensland, WA and the territory have remained almost completely free of lockdowns for the best part of this year – most people would assume that now would be a good time for the opposition to start positioning themselves as a more competent alternative to Victoria’s current government.

Despite all of this, a literally broken man who has imprisoned his own constituents for close to 300 days, is still looking like the better option than the soft-handed toffs on the other side of the aisle.

The Victorian Liberals are pleading with their voters to please be patient, because they’ll be making their move towards overthrowing Dan Andrews the moment they decide amongst themselves where the party stands on using the archaic religious practice of shock therapy to torture homosexuals.

Earlier this month, it was revealed that the embattled Victorian Liberals had quietly promised religious groups that it would amend the laws banning gay conversion therapy – because maybe that’s something that might make them popular with the kids.

Certain MPs in the opposition have since come out saying that some of them don’t like the idea of this practice being made legal again, but the new leader Matthew Guy has refused to say whether he would take a different position.

With most of the state still under the impression that the current opposition leader is that Harry Potter lookalike that replaced Matthew Guy in 2018, before losing the job to Matthew Guy again a month ago – things are not looking good heading into next year’s election.


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