The sleepy streets of Sydney’s nightlife has been given some extra valium this evening, as the city welcomes a global titan of acoustic coastal chill.

A sold-out event on the steps of the iconic performance venue, it’s understood Sydney’s community of Northern Beaches surfies and Hillsong Christians have flocked to Circular Quay to be lulled to sleep by Jack Johnson, the world’s most easy breezy singer-songwriter.

Billed as ‘an event under the stars’, concert organisers have told The Advocate that some special provisions are in place for those who wish to fall asleep within the first three songs.

“It’s a little different from our usual crowd of North Shore boomers who flood the concert hall for a performance of Brahms, but they also often fall asleep before intermission so we know how to gently wake up snoring patrons.”

“But tonight we’ve swapped the Peronis for some south coast pale ales, and for a very reasonable $35 we’re offering punters a cardboard chair up-cycled from old pizza boxes, we think that’ll be super popular with those who don’t want to sit in some wet seagull birdshit on the steps.”

Reports from The Advocate’s Sydney bureau are confirming that the majority of the crowd tonight is made up of young coastal millennials who lost their virginity to the chill sounds of songs like ‘Banana Pancakes’.

Speaking to one concert goer, Zach Cantrell, it’s believed tonight’s setlist of back-to-back coastal cafe hits might even inspire a little dancing on the steps of the Opera House.

“Mate go, easy, he’s got a few upbeat ones,” laughed Zach as he swept his blonde, salty locks from his eyes.

“Have you ever heard of ‘Sitting, Waiting, Wishing’, it’s a banger, it’s even got some drums in it!”


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