CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact
Right across Sydney, middle class heterosexuals are discovering that sometimes they have different needs to their partners. And these distinctions should be celebrated.
For women, their needs are simple. At least once a quarter they need to spend 20 hours with their homosexuals confidantes, while also slicking their hair really tight and covering themselves in glitter.
For men, it’s the burning desire to watch live combat sports.
Last night, Sydney offered both those things to every body.
The girls and the gays were able to enjoy their brat summer, and the boys got to witness a South African man smear an American man’s nose across his face.
This comes as the city hosted both the Laneway Festival and the Ultimate Fighting Championship.
In a dream scenario for couples needing a bit of breathing space, the simultaneous events allowed both halves to go and have a guilt free Sunday session.
“I don’t think she messaged to ask where I was once,” laughed local boyfriend Jayden Karouz.
“She came in absolutely steaming near midnight and I was out like a light after a big day of watching people try and knock each other out,” he continued in reference to UFC312.
Speaking to The Advocate about her dream Sunday, girlfriend Aisling Mathers said it was a match made in heaven.
“I watched a UFC with him once,” she said.
“Never again.”
“I’ll do the apple dance with the girls in a love filled in environment thank you very much.”
Both respective partners have confirmed that they are battling today though, with productivity at a yearly low.
More to come.
