ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The hivemind behind Channel Seven’s breakfast television show, Sunrise, has defended accusations that the show isn’t diverse enough, telling audiences that one of the most beloved characters on the show is of a multicultural background.

Cashcow, a popular bovine that showers cash down upon the masses from time to time, was born to a Fresian mother and an Angus father.

Cow grew up on a small Victorian dairy until a talent scout found her working at a Daylesford cattle sale.

From there, Cow quickly rose the ranks at Channel Seven to the point where she was working in the executive support team for Kerry Stokes, the other wealthy Kerry who’d probably be worse company than the one that died fifteen years ago.

“So those keyboard warriors can pipe down,” said one Sunrise producer who asked to remain anonymous.

“We have people from all walk s of life represented on our show. Mark Baretta is Italian. Kochie went to a public high school. Sam Armytage is old money country gentry. Um, who else? Ah Nat is from WA, so we have shooters in the west. So, I uh, think these criticisms are a bit unfounded. That’s my quote.”

The Advocate reached out to the Seven Network’s upper management for comment but they said they wouldn’t be commenting until the conclusion of an internal investigation into who the anonymous producer who spoke to us was.

More to come.

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