CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
A heartwarming story has broken deep within Betoota Heights today as the Ballis family now move up a rung in the hierarchal class system that grips the aspirational suburbs.
This means the family matriarch, Karen, is now able to hit the supermarket with a list of needs… and wants.
No longer will they have to settle for Lido soft drink, or that weird Ukrainian version of Nutella that you find at Aldi.
The Ballis family are officially ‘upper middle class’ – after the executive decision was made to no longer just settle for non-bubbly water. Mum came home with a Sodastream.
This comes after years of hard work and modest holidaying – at Hervey Bay instead of Noosa. Years of the old man, Peter, having to drink Carlton instead of Crownies. Years of Karen using their daughter’s Cleo magazine freebies for some corporate make-up life-hacks. The Ballis family are just short of a ‘media room’ and a jet ski. Just a stone’s throw short of the big time.
With the family crowded around the new kitchen device, dad has already decided he’s not very good at using it, but doesn’t mind a bit of Tropical Crush cordial with it, if you’re making one, that is.
“We don’t need to drink the lame normal water ever again!” cheers an excited Max Ballis (12).
“Now lets go watch some MAFS!”
It is not yet known whether they are now comfortable enough to get their daughter’s school formal dress from a legitimate designer of her choosing, but let’s just say there’s no need for a part-time job leading up to schoolies.