6 December, 2016. 19:34

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A WEEKEND BLUE LIGHT DISCO at a North Brisbane Police and Citizens Youth Club [PCYC] descended into disaster as the local boys and girls took just over three hours until they began to mingle among themselves.

For the first one-hundred-and-eighty minutes of the social gathering, neither party was willing to cast their inhibitions aside and attempt to waltz to a Justin Beiber number. It goes without saying that the chaperones weren’t taken aback by this, but they were both relieved and alert when the ice finally did break.

It took a local hero, 12-year-old Dylan, who some at the gathering describe as a young Henry Kissinger, to thaw the ice between the young ladies and men.

The Advocate wants it to be clear that Dylan was among the first boys in his year to lose the un-godly amount of puppy fat most upper-middle-class children are burdened with in the latter stages of primary school, making it much easier for him compared to a child like classmate Brock, who’s still pushing 60kg and spends most of his time trading Yu-Gi-Oh cards and using his asthma to get out of physical activity.

“I just got tired of pushing my mates into the middle of the gym, only for them to squirm and giggle as they ran back to the wall with everyone else,” explained Dylan, as he enjoyed one of his father’s stolen Peter Stuyvesant Filters under the school scoreboard in the pale moonlight.

“So I just started breakdancing, then everybody started clapping, so I kept on going. I’m glad everyone had a fun time in the end.”

Dance chaperone and fourth class teacher, Mr Matthew Duchant, explained that he enjoys coming to these things because it’s a rare insight into what it might be like if they only served water and soft drinks in pubs and nightclubs.

“I mean, I’d be as frigid as the kids if I didn’t get loaded up on some cheap grog before I had a bit of a boogie down the club,” said the 34-year-old retired semi-pro surfer.

“It takes real guts to walk over to the other side of the gym at a Blue Light Disco and I respect the little shits who do it. Actually, don’t print that. They’re brave young sods.”

This is a developing story.

More to come.



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