ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A city IT worker told The Advocate this afternoon that when he was on the bus coming to town this morning, he wasn’t wearing a mask and because of that, he could feel this old codger wearing one giving him the old stink eye.

Marcus, a 28-year-old full-time live-at-home son from Betoota Heights, says there’s no point in wearing a mask in South West Queensland because there’s yet to be a recorded case of the Hubei Spicy Lung in the wider Betoota Shire Council.

However, Mayor Keith Carton ordered that all people using the Betoota Metro Public Transport Network (BMPTN) must wear a mask after the “left-wing Brisbane-centric” Palaszczuk Government opened the state up to the rest of the country last week.

Back home in Betoota, maskless people on public have been dragged off buses and trams by Councillor Carton’s private security teams and beaten senseless with lead-lined kendo sticks.

The Advocate’s editor, Clancy Overell, was beaten after being caught drunk and maskless on the light rail just after 9pm last Friday. He was flogged so severely that the batteries in his insulin pump exploded and set fire to his plastic Van Husen suit pants.

The burns were so damaging that this masthead’s cadet, Wendell Hussey, was forced to donate 25cm sq of back skin.

Marcus explained that he knew about these previous incidents but decided to run the gauntlet.

“If getting death stared by some old bastard on the bus is the worst thing that happens to me today, that’d be a good day.”

More to come.


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