ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

“Fuck that noise,” he said.

“I’m just going to walk over here.”

Masks are still compulsory in most places here in the Diamantina Shire and the people of our fine cosmopolitan desert republic need one to ride the metro, trolleybus and RiverJump services.

Everyone but that guy over there, said one Betoota Transport Guard who spoke to The Advocate this afternoon at the Daroo Street Train Station.

“He’s not worth $21.38 per hour an hour. Just look at him.”

Over there walked a man who looked like he was carrying a generic brand paring knife in his jacket pocket and knew how to use it properly.

In addition to that, it looked like he knew how to handle himself. His face was covered in tattoos.

“I’m not telling him to put a mask on. He’ll probably not comply and make a scene. Then what? I mace him and wrap this telescopic baton around his head until he’s flopping around on the floor like a carp on a riverbank?” said the Guard.

“Not that that’s going to be what happens. He’ll probably grab the baton out of my hand and flog me with it. Have you ever been hit with one of those things? I’d rather get the taser. It’s the most unpleasant thing you can do to someone,”

“Mate, I just want to punch in and punch out, not get punched out. I don’t even like this job.”

More to come.

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