WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
The nation’s Head of Marketing has today revealed a shiny new trophy that’s graced his office.
Speaking exclusively to The Betoota Advocate, Scott Morrison talked us through the exciting piece of silverware he’s received for his incredibly successful spicy cough jab rollout.
“Just a little something to remind me of the great work I’ve been doing,” said the leader of the scandal-plagued government that’s only 3.4 million doses behind where it said it would be a couple of months ago.
“Obviously I’ve plonked it next to the Operation Sovereign Borders Premiership title I received after pushing asylum seekers to find passage into the country via the air instead of the sea.”
“Even with Europe doing it’s best to ruin things for me and my chances of re-election, it’s great to see my handiwork being recognised.”
The former Immigration Minister then explained why we haven’t quite got to the the 4 million doses mark he said we would get to by this point in time.
“Hey, we’ve vaccinated 600,000 people, so I’m not sure what everyone’s complaining about,” said the man implying that 3.1 million of our doses were either delayed or not sent here because of the European Union placing export restrictions on the shipments.
“I’m not sure why some people are saying it’s my fault that we stuffed up the logistics on one of the most important public health policies in living history.”
“Let’s focus on the positives, rather than the negatives.”
“So I think this new trophy is a good reminder of the Tall Poppy Syndrome plaguing this country, and a nod to the fact that I’ll be responsible for the largest ever jab roll out this country’s ever seen.”