ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

It has been a tough week for the Prime Minister, like every week, but it’s Friday now.

One of the toughest aspects of this week, he tells The Advocate, was having to shut down the ABC’s Andrew Probyn during a joint press conference with Peter Dutton when Probyn tried to shift the focus of the presser towards the Home Affairs Office’s bungling of the Ruby Princess affair.

“I just had to put a stop to it,” said the Prime Minister, tieless and shoeless sitting in his Sydney office.

He told our reporter that he often finds time to ponder how Peter Dutton will make a cunt of himself and the government next.

High above Bligh Street in the beating heart of what’s left of the Australian economy, Scott raved about the Murrembatemen pinot gris he was enjoying before getting his train of thought back on track.

“It’s just draining. I mean, I can talk to you about it. Even though you write a bunch of shit about me all the time that’s not only mean-spirited and unfunny – it’s also not true. Peter Dutton was disliked by his police colleagues. I grew up in a police household and for a bunch of cops to leave dozens of tins of dog food on your desk on your last day means you were probably a pretty average bloke. Well, that’s what happened to Peter Dutton. If you look at the bloke and his long list of monumental fuck ups not only as a parliamentarian but has a human being, the dog food story doesn’t sound so crazy, does it?”

“I don’t know, Errol. I really don’t. God! This Canberra brain varnish is off the chain! I’m telling you. I need to send you a box, it’s way better than that brake fluid Albo’s been sending you. This stuff won’t strip the paint off your car.”

More to come.


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