ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

In what the Member For New England describes as a ‘serendipitous’ occurrence, Rugby Australia’s former marketing pigeon has been named as Barnaby Joyce’s new media advisor – the day after his own reflection resigned from the job.

Mr Joyce thinks it’s serendipitous because, in the weeks leading up to last month’s Rugby World Cup, he accidentally trapped and ate his new media advisor’s predecessor while on a business trip to Sydney.

After falling on hard times earlier this year, the former Deputy Prime Minister told reporters that he was being forced to kill his own meat and budget like a common city worker.

Mr Joyce began trapping pigeons in an effort to supplement the meat in his diet. He set a number of traps around Parliament House, as well as keeping a few on the roof of his taxpayer-funded Landcruiser Sahara to use while on the road. Some of his National Party colleagues said they were forced to turn down surplus pigeons Mr Joyce keep in old superphosphate bags in the deep freeze.

“You should’ve seen the look on Mark Coulton’s face when I tried to give him a big bag of frozen pigeons,” laughed Mr Joyce this morning.

The Member for New England spoke to local media this afternoon in Armidale.

“It’s funny how life turns out. One little moment can change everything, One minute, you’re trapping sky lobsters while having a box of Jatz for breakfast, the next you’re eating some important marketing executive and everybody hates you again,”

“Just imagine. If I never ate that pigeon, I never would’ve met my new media advisor, let alone get the chance to hire it,”

“So welcome, pigeon!”

Mr Joyce then invited reporters over to look through the window of his electoral office to see the pigeon, which was perched on the kitchette eating raw sugar and shitting on the floor.

“He learnt that from me!”

More to come.


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