JASON CUTJAR | Forensics editor | Contact

A Mosman man has again escaped conviction after appearing at the Downing Centre Local Court on Friday afternoon.

Charged with possessing a commercial quantity of a prohibited drug, after being found with 8 capsules of MDMA, Mr Charles Fishburn assured the Court “this will never happen again”.  

Initially denying responsibility for the MDMA, claiming that he had no idea how it got there, Fishburn ultimately entered a guilty plea before being handed his fifth Section 10 in as many years.

This comes as a surprise to all, as the defendant was previously given leniency by the court for various charges including a PCA drink-driving, various drug offenses and a malicious damage to property charge.

“Yeah we thought the prior seccy (sic) 10’s were going to throw a spanner in the works, but it was only low range and my references were sweet”.

Fishburn’s lawyer and close family friend Mr Terrence James QC (an ex-teammate of Fishburn’s father at the Sydney Uni Rugby Club, playing outside him in the centres) wasn’t all that surprised with the result, commenting “Mate he looked like a saint compared to the rest of the mob in there, I saw one bloke in a Holden button-up fiddling with tazos.”

It was heard that another defendant referred to the magistrate as, ‘fella’ instead of the recommended, ‘Your Honour’.

In handing Fishburn his Section 10, the Court was quick to uphold the argument of the defence, with the case’s official ratio decidendi being cited as “boys will be boys”.

“Either that, or the magistrate had gotten a bit of play the night before!”

Despite this potential conflict of interest the trial was allowed to go on, with Fishburn’s lawyer and former roommate of his father’s at St. Paul’s College, successfully arguing that any heavier punishment would prove detrimental to Fishburn’s future. The Court heard that Fishburn has aspirations to follow in his father’s footsteps and enter the business world hoping to one day also become an arrogant, over-privileged fuck head, and that any permanent criminal conviction would perhaps jeopardise this.

The parents of the accused were overjoyed with the result, stating “Look we are happy this won’t rule him out for future graduate opportunities next year, I mean we can get him through a few back doors anyway but the further he can get on his own the better.”

Although considered an absurd amount to many, the defendant claimed needing all 8 capsules “just to get through” the three-day boutique festival just south of Sydney.
Following the trial it was a relieved Fishburn that told the media that he was “just happy that the ordeal was over”. Emerging from the Court, he was greeted by a large group of fellow Sydney Grammar School Old Boys. “Fish is a fucking good bloke, never hurt a fly” a fellow St Paul’s college resident boomed.

“Anyway we are just stoked with the outcome – the boys are obviously keen to get on it tonight, might sort out some nose beers to celebrate.”




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