ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

In their latest fuck you to the airline industry, former regional airline Regional Express has added instant hot water taps to all their airport lounges.

This new luxury is just the latest measure REX is taking to make sure Virgin dies with the same dignity Ansett did.

It was announced earlier this week that the airline had acquired a few Boeings to fly on busy intercity routes such as Sydney to Melbourne and Brisbane.

The airline’s leadership team hope the new hot water taps bring a certain ‘al fresco’ quality to the airport lounges, which in the past have simply been a place where you could run into people like Gina Rinehart’s personal assistant and some deathly hungover former Wallaby heading home to check on his cows.

“In addition to our new al fresco lounges, we’re hoping our passengers get a real sense of al dente, ala carte and joie de vivre when they enter through the iconic blue and orange doors,” said the airline’s COO.

“We’re also offering our Gold Level passengers free use of our shower facilities to smoke in. We’re going to be the first airline to offer passengers the ability to smoke in a lounge since Malcolm Fraser became the first sitting Australian Prime Minister to cry on television,”

“Into the future, we hope to attract some politicians away from the exclusive Qantas Chairman’s Lounge to our lounge so punters can call a senator a fuckwit as they’re making a cup of tea. Dreams.”

More to come.


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