ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Red-framed reading glasses atop an inner-city sexagenarian’s head has been found to be a key indicator of a GetUp membership, a local survey has discovered.

GetUp, a paramilitary group hellbent on pushing the elite-green-left agenda by any means necessary, has ramped up their efforts to destabilise the political process in the lead up to this year’s federal election.

And they’re doing it with an army of semi-retired inner-city boomers, according to the survey.

Betoota Heights mother-of-four, Janine Hosegood, who’s still wracked with guilt for voting for Malcolm Fraser and John Howard because a Liberal government made her husband’s pool chemical business pay less tax, confident in The Advocate this morning and explained that her recent purchase of red-framed reading glasses had nothing to do with her fantasies of seeing Scott Morrison cry in public like Kevin Rudd.

“I am a paid-up member of GetUp,” she said.

“But I don’t see any correlation with that and the colour of my glasses! Honestly, though, we’ve been doorknocking in the French Quarter and Old City District all this week for our local Greens candidate,”

“Early polling suggests they still have a long way to go to oust the incumbent National member, David Littleproud, but a month is a long time!”

Our reporter spoke to a number of other middle-aged local women with red-framed reading glasses and they all said the exact same thing verbatim.

More to come.


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