ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A self-described moral arbiter from the French Quarter has spoken today of his shock after learning some of his friends aren’t as progressive as he is.

Talking about his immediate and wider social circle, Fergus Berry explained to our reporter that he was under the impression that he’d surrounded himself with people who think the same as him and harbour similar beliefs on topics such as traditional family values and finance.

The 32-year-old said reality dawned on him when the topic of baby names came up during a barbecue over the weekend.

“One of my friends said he was going to name his unborn son after him, just because it was a family tradition to name the firstborn son after the father,” he said.

“That shocked me. It’s a very traditional name, too. I went on to say that I have a nephew named Frisbee and that I thought it was cool and interesting and the same mate said, ‘That’s fucking stupid. How did the registrar let that pass? Frisbee? Like the flying disk? That’s the dumbest shit I’ve heard? Are you taking the piss?’,”

“That was so offensive. Then another one of my mates said they reckon the robodebts were, in essence, a good policy because people shouldn’t get free money for just sitting on their arse. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing! I thought I knew these blokes so well,”

“To top it all off, the same guy who said that abhorrent, ableist shit about the robodebt scheme, said he had to train his now-wife not to hold cutlery like a pencil. I had to walk away.”

More to come.


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