CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
With the mud shovelled out and local businesses putting their shoulders to the wheel to earn a dollar, Queenslanders have today been briefed on what they should do next to help their communities recover from the extreme weather event that rocked their state last week.
Queensland Premier David Crisafulli – who has received high praise from right across the country for his surgical and thorough handlings of this disaster – has today fronted a late Friday afternoon press conference with instructions for the next stage of the recovery efforts.
“The looming threat of flash flooding has subsided” said the Premier.
“We are nearly finished connecting power back to those last suburbs suffering a week long black out”
“What we need from you, Queenslanders, is to hit the tiles”
Crisafulli then unveiled a cold can of mid-strength beer, as journalists buzzed.
“Now I bought this tinnie as a take away from a pub down the road. I decided to bypass the major duopoly and go straight to a family business. I’m now going to drink this beer on live television, and I’m asking you all to put on your best pair of slacks and have a beer as well”
“Whether it’s on the porch or veranda, or indeed on a bar stool. I want each and every one of you ripping in tonight to stimulate the economy”
The Premier also offered alternatives to non-drinkers.
“If your religious prevents you from doing so, or if you’re simply off the wagon, I think you should go and order a pasta from a local business. Or a couple servings of Chinese. Maybe you’re more inclined for a late night ice cream run. Whatever floats your boat – I just want everyone out”
“Where safe to do so of course. I cannot be clearer that you should all exercise caution around floodwaters and slippery surfaces”
“So the rule of thumb is, if you’re dry, you have my permission to not be”
