ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
In a surprising twist that has sent shockwaves through the Sunshine State, Queensland officials have announced their intention to adopt daylight savings, effectively turning the clocks back by an hour. The reason? To reverse not time, but the fortunes of their beloved sports teams, especially after the recent NRL Grand Final defeat. With a newfound determination, Queenslanders are convinced that tinkering with time itself might just be the key to future victories.
“It’s time to take matters into our own hands, quite literally,” declared Betoota Heights man, John, emphasising the word ‘time’ with a wink, as if revealing a secret formula to success. “By turning back the clocks, we’re turning back the clock on our past failures. This extra hour of daylight will illuminate our path to sporting glory!”
The decision to embrace daylight savings has triggered a flurry of activity across the state. Clocks are being adjusted, calendars are being recalibrated, and citizens are finding themselves caught in a time warp, trying to make sense of a reality where evening suddenly becomes afternoon.
“It’s a bit disorienting, but if it means our teams perform better, I’m all for it!” exclaimed local resident Sandra Swartz, struggling to reset her kitchen clock for the umpteenth time. “Who knew that the key to winning sports matches was hidden in the hands of a clock?”
Sports analysts, too, are chiming in on this bold move.
“There’s a psychological element to this,” mused Dr. Thyme (wih a y), a renowned expert in time-related phenomena. “By manipulating time, Queenslanders are hoping to create a perception of having more hours in the day for training, strategising, and maybe even inventing a few new game-winning moves. It’s unconventional, but it might just work.”
However, the decision has not been without its critics. Skeptics argue that success in sports is determined by talent, practice, and teamwork rather than the position of the sun in the sky. Yet, Queensland officials remain undeterred.
“We’re not just changing time; we’re changing our destiny,” Mayor Daylight Dynamo proclaimed, wearing a cape adorned with clock faces. “This move will inspire our athletes to train harder, play smarter, and seize victory when it matters most. It’s a time-traveling triumph waiting to happen!”
As Queensland prepares to embark on this unconventional journey through time, the rest of the country watches with a mix of amusement and curiosity. Will turning back the clocks pave the way for sporting greatness, or will it merely serve as a reminder that some challenges can’t be solved by adjusting the hands of a clock?
Only time will tell.