ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

It seems that there’s nothing that Betoota Heights resident Ryals Harris can’t hunt.

His social media is awash with hunting photos from around the world. The image the 28-year-old student chose for his Facebook cover photo is him with a Grizzly bear he shot through the head.

However, it seems the most elusive prey the young man has ever tried to hunt is a post-university job.

Harris spoke candidly to The Advocate this morning about his ongoing and largely unsuccessful job hunt.

“The economy is fucked,” he said confidently.

“I’ve got great marks, industry experience, a wealth of knowledge and still – no replies to my job applications. My LinkedIn profile is a veritable smorgasbord of reasons why somebody should hire me,”

“Glowing references from my coworkers, professors and friends. More than enough experience to warrant even the most soul-destroying entry-level job in public relations. The only thing I can think of is the economy being fucked. And with the Coalition about to lose 35 seats at the next election, what hope do I have?”

One of the local boutique, bespoke multinational public relations firms he applied to was Puerto New Delhi OAM, a hole-in-the-wall mezzanine-level agency attached to Clemenger South Betoota’s open-plan-motorbike-in-the-foyer offices on Passiondale Boulevard.

Their androgynous-looking, tertiary-educated human resources creative director took time out of his busy morning of leaving needlessly mean comments on to speak to our reporter about Mr Harris’ recent application.

“He was very qualified, a very competitive candidate for the job,” he said.

“But he had a picture of him with a giraffe he shot dead as his LinkedIn profile picture. In terms of creating and fostering a great office culture, we don’t think he’d be a good fit here. The role of junior account co-ordinating executive ultimately went to an equally as qualified candidate who actually took the time to get a professional headshot,”

“The image of him with a bear he shot in the head might be a professional headshot in his world, but in ours, it’s extremely distressing and it made some people in my department visibly upset. We didn’t even reply to him, which is rude. However, he’s like full on murdered animals and it’s pretty crook so I haven’t lost any sleep.”

More to come.


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