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Some truly shocking news is breaking out of the harbour city of Sydney this afternoon, as The Star Casino has officially reported something that happened at its venue.

The Star has confirmed a patron who attended the venue this month has tested positive for coronavirus, amid concern about NSW’s growing number of infections.

This reporting of something that happened insides the dark and timeless confines of the building which is exempt from most regulatory liquor and gambling rules, marks the first-ever reported incident in the Casino.

The venue which surprisingly remained outside Sydney’s controversial Lockout Laws despite its close proximity to the city and the amount of people who frequent it, has a long history of avoiding negative headlines for violent incidents.

Not because they apply responsible service of alcohol and have people equipped to de-escalate situations, but because they have simply never reported anything that happens there.

“We didn’t wanna report it,” sighed a spokesperson for the Casino that managed to skirt all of the rules other licensed venues are often bound by.

“But we figured that the health authorities are going to publish the results, so we thought we’d get on the front foot and announce our first incident in our history.”

“It just wasn’t something our bouncers could sort out by dragging a couple of pissed blokes around the corner and giving them a hiding where no security cameras could catch anything.”

“So it is what it is. And let me say this, it might be our first, but it will definitely be our last.”

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